I’ve never really thought of myself as a lecturer. But, I was wrong! I do lecture my kids. Way too often. And I really appreciated the opportunity to review the book and DVD of Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think from Joey and Carla Link over at Parenting Made Practical.
These products were full of information to encourage parents to ditch the reminding, lecturing, and nagging. Kids often tune out this sort of talking. But, you can’t just stop a negative behavior without replacing it with something else. These materials help equip parents as they raise up their children to think and become more responsible.
I reviewed a paperback book with 160 pages, and a DVD that’s just under an hour long. There’s also a digital download of the video available, but that option doesn’t work so well when your internet is metered! 😀
The book dives deep into topics and shares several examples. The video is a recorded Parent’s Night Out seminar, with the authors sharing examples and insights from their many years of experience. It’s an overview of the material from the book, but the audio/video message helps get the message across in a new way.
One of their adult children helps with some role-playing in the video, and this really helps you see how to use the techniques in your own life.
There are study guide questions available on the vendor’s website. This is helpful if you plan on working through the material with a small group, or even to talk about with your spouse. Being on the same page is essential!
What Is the Lecture Bug?
So now that you know what is included, let’s talk about the point of these materials.
Lecturing is when you start talking to your kids about a decision they made, or an action they took. When I hear the word lecture, my mind immediately rolls to the college classroom. I think of those huge classrooms full of students, with a teacher up front talking.
And, the eyes of the students are often glazed over. They’re sort of listening, with a tiny portion of their brain. The rest of their mind is busy doing something else.
This is exactly what happens to kids when they’re being lectured. They learn what they can tune out, and sort of just fall into the “smile and nod” routine.
At least, my kids do! I’m sure if I were to ask them after the lecture, they wouldn’t be able to recall most of what I said. It’s not an effective strategy, but unfortunately it has become one of my defaults.
What to Do Instead of Lecturing
Lecturing allows parents to feel better about discipline. They feel like they’ve accomplished something. Except, they usually haven’t. The kids may purposefully try harder for the next couple of days, but since they don’t have any real reason to change, they quickly fall back in the same routine.
This turns into a cycle, with lectures getting louder and longer.
In order to help our kids become responsible for their actions, parents need to break this cycle.
And, Joey and Carla Link recommend using questions to help turn the conversation from a one-sided one into a real conversation. Talking to your kids instead of at your kids makes a huge difference in their response.
There’s a whole section of the book that also addresses unlocking your children’s hearts and helping them to be more open to owning their behavior.
How Did I Use These Products?
I read through the book and watched the DVD, and have slowly been trying new techniques. I find myself rereading certain passages as I try to make better habits.
I really appreciate the scripture woven throughout the book. The authors really want to inspire parents to help their children grow into responsible adults, who love Jesus.
I definitely recommend these products. I preferred the book to the DVD, because there’s only so much you can cover in an hour long video. But, there are definitely nuggets in the DVD as well.
I know I’ll be reading this one again and again in my quest to be the best mom I can be.
I reviewed the book and DVD of Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think. Parenting Made Practical has so many other products. Next, I want to check out the DVD Navigating the Rapids of Parenting, which talks about different stages kids go through. For more information about this, and other products from Parenting Made Practical, please click on the banner below.